Wednesday, May 13, 2009

How to deal with them blues!

Its been a rough couple of days for your old pal Evan. I've been in the dumps and so I thought I'd tell you what I do when I'm getting a "case of the gloomies". I do what Barney Stinson does.
"When I'm sad, I stop being sad and be awesome instead. True story."

Life is too short to be blue and mopey. The world is great big place and I get to make fun of everything about it on a stage in front of people, who could ask for more?

But anyway, here's a list of things that I personally adhere to in order to make myself be awesome:

1.) Be like unto Drago.

Yes the villain from Rocky 4, Ivan Drago, didn't take crap from anyone but most importantly, he worked out on a constant basis to make himself a Russian superman, with the ability to kill people wearing the American flag with his fists!

....But more realistically, the working out part. A couple months back, I joined a gym and am paying a ungodly amount in monthly gym fees which forces me to get off my lazy ass and stick to a training regiment. 3 miles a day, lifting, crapping out steel!, etc etc. So in a couple of months, I hope to look like the Irish version of Drago, who I dub, Drago O'Schaunnessy.

2.) Write standup comedy so I can go apeshit on a stage!

Yes, writing comedy is a great way to pass the time and being sad makes you a better comedian! Its true and 9 out of 10 doctors agree! And when I'm too old to get up on a stage, I will turn into one of these two men:

3.) Put on a red power ring and have the energy burn out my insides which I wll then vomit out in rage!Ok, no not really. I just wanted to be a gigantic geek for a second there.

4.) Drink! Yes there's nothing like being an uncouth drunkard to knock those spirits of yours up. I prefer to get mine from Old Timey Pete's Blindness Distillery, as shown here:

But in all seriousness folks, we all get down and out from time to time. Granted we can stew in it and be depressed and mopey and what not, but I prefer to kick ass. And that is what I am saying to you, go out into the world and kick ass. Kick ass everywhere that you can in everything that you can. Kick ass while drinking your morning cup of coffee. Kick ass while driving your car to get a wash. Kick ass while fighting a bear!

Kick ass in life!

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