Friday, May 3, 2013

REJECTED POST CREDIT IRON MAN 3 SCENES


Many scenes were left on the cutting room floor when it came to the post credits scene of Iron Man 3, and, luckily, through my vast Hollywood connection network, I was able to find out what they were and will fill you all in.

1.) THANOS SHOWS UP, FARTS, AND INSTANTLY DIES

Thanos, the villain teased after the credits in the Avengers, appears in front of Robert Downey Jr., holding the seat of his pants and nervously twitching. "Listen, I know I'm not supposed to show up until the next Avengers, but my asshole didn't get the memo." Thanos then lets a gigantic fart rip, which triggers a brain anneurysm and he instantly dies. Tony Stark is left wondering who is this gigantic purple man and how can he harness his gold shoulder pads?

2.) THE JUSTICE LEAGUE APPEARS


Tony Stark reclines back in his couch, only to see the Justice League knock on his door. "May we have a movie please? We have League Fatigue, you know what I'm saying?" Batman says.
"A whole new group of super heroes, I gotta call SHIELD!" Tony replies, only to find the League have burst into his house and begin raiding his fridge.
"We need all of this for evidence!" Martian Manhunter screams as he pounds gravy down his throat, clearly not having eaten in weeks.
The movie ends with the League crying themselves to sleep as Tony Stark looks on puzzled.

3.) TERRANCE HOWARD APPEARS 

"THE FUCK TONY?" An irritated Terrance Howard yells as he bursts through Tony Stark's door. "That other guy is an impostor. How the fuck could you not tell he wasn't me?"
"Uhmmm well I....uhmmm."
"OH I GET IT! ITS BECAUSE WE ALL JUST LOOK THE SAME IS THAT IT? FUCK YOU TONY. FUCK YOU."
"Hey man, I'm just gonna go open up a Hotel for Rwanda and for dogs if that's cool with everybody." Don Cheadle chimes in, ending the movie.

4.) TONY STARK AND BRUCE BANNER START MAKING OUT...FOR 30 SOLID MINUTES


Tony approaches Bruce, now working in Stark Tower and horribly delivers the line of,
"Bruce, I'm going to stop being Iron Man."
"But Tony, why?"
"Because the only iron I need....is the iron in my pants."

Then really sloppy awkward kissing begins, and doesn't stop for about half an hour, with both actors nervously looking at the camera, with the expressions of "Are we really doing this?"

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