January 30, 2012 - A Class Action lawsuit has been brought up against Taco Bell with regards to advertisements for their latest consumer product: The Cheeto Burrito.
Heralded as "a burrito filled to the brim with mouth-watering Cheetos and some kind of meats," Taco Bell found themselves in quite the quandary when trying to decide how they would advertise their latest creation.
"We wanted the campaign to be in your face! Extreme!" pleaded Taco Bell President, Theodore Bellaphonte (Reffered to by friends as T. Bell), "...things got out of hand."
And by "got out of hand," Mr. Bellaphonte is referring to one of many taglines which the "Cheeto Burrito" used in ads, "Hey, you fu***** fa****s, stick this burrito in your d*** su**ing hole!" for example.
The lines, as we all know, were not edited in the ads themselves.
"I was flabbergasted!" stated Teresa McDonald, mother of three. "I woke up that morning, took a shower, put on my work clothes, sent my kids off to school, and then all of sudden, a DAMN BURRITO IS TELLING ME TO S*** A D***!"
"Things got out of hand," muttered T. Bell, alone and sobbing in his office. "We just wanted to put a little pep in our step, you know?"
That 'pep in their step' has now caused scores of people, claiming millions of dollars worth of lawsuits across the globe, to come to Taco Bell's door.
Spanning nearly every race, creed, and gender, the advertisement campaign practically went out of its way to insult every person on the planet.
"Yo, put this mother f***ing burrito into your mother f***ing mouth, homies!" said an unusually white man in the ad campaign.
"I seriously was so angry that I was seeing red as I picked up my phone to call my lawyer. Who does this?" stated an Asian American consumer. "The ad that I saw just read, 'Ching Chong Ching Chong Chang Burrito. I have never been more offended in my entire life!"
"This has done more to set back race relations in the U.S. than anything Ku Klux Klan may have thought up," stated President Barack Obama in a dramatic speech Wednesday morning. "This burrito of Cheetos must be banished from our plane of existence."
The burrito itself has not responded to our questions and offers no comment about this ordeal.
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